Friday, February 02, 2007

This is a hastily written, un-proofread analysis of the top 10 DS games as rated by

(GameRankings Rank) (Title) (Publisher) (GR's Score) (Rob's Score out of 5)
1. Mario Kart DS - Nintendo - 92.20% GR - 4 Rob

This is just like all the other Mario Karts. Fun game, but relies too much on the luck of the powerups. If you're behind, you get kickass powerups like the Blue Shell that homes in on the 1st place racer. That's sorta lame. It does support wireless peer-to-peer and internet play though. That's sorta cool. Overall, it's quite fun, but I am starting to get tired of the formula.

Buy if... you love Mario, non-serious racing, or loved all the other Mario Karts.

2. Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow - Konami - 90.50% GR - 4 Rob

Like so many games on this list, this is another episode in a series of franchise games. This is supposed to be 2D side-scrolling at it's finest. And I'm sure it is. Personally, I was never a big Castlevania fan so it's kind of 'meh' for me.

Buy if... you love Castlevania, 2D sidescrollers, or supporting a Non-Nintendo product in the top 10

3. Advance Wars: Dual Strike - Nintendo - 90.50% GR - 5 Rob

Man, I can already tell I'm going to get tired of this, but again, another derivative game. I should just start writing, if you like Game X, then you'll love Game X: The DS Version. It would save me a lot of time. Anyway, for what it does, it does quite well. AW: DS is a turn based strategy game that's simple enough to be enjoyable by the masses and yet deep enough to be enjoyed by hardcore strategy game nuts. It's got a manga style graphics and a convoluted storyline, but neither will get in the way of enjoying this game. There are a lot of Commanding Officers to choose from, each with their own unique Super Power-ups. It's almost like there are too many because some of the powerups are sorta lame or unbalanced and you'll find yourself just picking the same set of CO's over and over. There are tons and tons of maps and you can even create your own. The Dual Screen usage is pretty cool, but ultimately I liked the old style maps with just one screen. In any case, it's hella fun in multiplayer mode.

Buy if... You like strategy games, you like multiplayer madness, or you like, you guessed it, Advance Wars for the GBA.

4. New Super Mario Bros. - Nintendo - 88.90% GR - 4 Rob

... I'm not even gonna say it. Sigh. OK, well, on the bright side, this is one really good Mario game. And honestly, we haven't seen a traditional side scroller Mario game in a long ass time. So maybe I should cut them some slack for making another Mario game. I think I'm burned out on Mario just because he's in every other game published by Nintendo.

Buy if... you're a girl, you're old-school, you like fun, if unoriginal, games.

5. Meteos - Nintendo - 88.60% GR - 1 Rob

This game sucks. I have no idea why people suck on Meteos' dick so hard. The idea behind this puzzle game is that you move around blocks to match colors (surprised?) You do this by selecting a block with the stylus and sliding up or down a column until you get 3 same colored blocks lined up horizontally across 3 columns. When they line up, they fire off rockets that propel the blocks above them up towards the top of the screen. Sometimes you have to fire off rockets more than once before they completely leave the screen (the goal.) Problem is... the gameplay is flawed. I got pretty damn far just randomly moving my stylus around the screen. The Blocks would randomly line up and fire rockets. For a puzzle game, that's horrible.

There are better puzzle games out there.

Buy if... you hate good gameplay in your puzzle games, you love Mizuguchi, you find it for < $5 and then give it to your worst enemy for his bday.

6. Kirby: Canvas Curse - Nintendo - 87.60% GR - NA

I never played this game. So... OK.

Buy if... you love Kirby??

7. Super Mario 64 DS - Nintendo - 86.40% GR - 3 Rob

This game was AWESOME for the N64. For the DS, the control sucks balls. It emulates an analog stick with the stylus. That blows. It also allows you to use the regular D-Pad and hit a button to run. That sucks too. Without analog controlled, this game is ruined.

Buy if... you never played the proper N64 version, you find it for < $10, there is no 3rd reason.

8. Animal Crossing: Wild World - Nintendo - 86.40% GR - 3 Rob

I never played the DS version, but it looks a lot like the Gamecube version, and that was pretty damn boring. So you move into the town of Animal Crossing and you set up a house and then you do boring shit like work, collect crap and decorate. This isn't really a game. It's more of the simulated grind of adulthood with cutesy graphics and retarded minigames. The DS version includes online functionality which lets you interact with other real-world peopel's towns via Wi-Fi. So you can trade crappy gifts and shit. Girls love this shit.

Buy if... you love to decorate your house (you're gay,) you don't have any real life friends, or you're a girl.

9. Elite Beat Agents - Nintendo - 86.40% GR - 5 Rob

I really liked this game, but I can see other people not getting into it. It's a music/rhythm game, so if you ain't got the rhythm, stay off the dance floor. The game is crazy. The premise is over the top: you're part of an elite force of dancing... umm... agents... that gets sent in to help people cope with everyday situations like taking getting a cat out of a tree or driving a prego to the hospital in a cab or dealing with a bunch of bratty kids that this hottie is babysitting. The most serious scenario, helping a little girl dealing with the loss of her father, is actually quite touching and is one of my favorite levels. The song that you have to dance to are covers of mostly well recognized pop tunes. Cavaet: If you're out of touch with poppy radio songs, you might not know 1/2 of these songs. The gameplay consists of tapping and dragging the stylus in time with the rhythm of the songs. It takes a little getting used to and it does start off slow. But then the difficulty ramps up pretty quickly. Overall, the control works wonderfully once you figure thigns out.

Buy if... you love music games, you like something different and wacky, you like pop music.

10. Tetris DS - Nintendo - 86.30% GR - 4 Rob

Are you serious? It's tetris. C'mon.

Buy if... you're into tetris, you're gf loves tetris, you are tetris (what??)